Cookie Crime Puts Criminal Behind Bars

A man in San Francisco has been sentenced to half a year behind bars due to the despicable and dastardly act of eating someone else’s cookie. 

The horrible human being was already coming off the back of vandalism charges, and was part way through a drugs rehabilitation program when the incident happened.  Gregory Fields , 42, had nearly completed the program when he carried out the unforgivable act. 

Having completed his 30-day detox and his 30-day blackout, you’d think the bastard had learned his lesson!! 

Everything was going fine until he decided to eat a leftover cookie while the organization was making lunches for homeless people. When staff members at Harbor Light Center learned what he did, they asked him to leave, and never come back! 

A fair response if you ask me, however Fields didn’t agree.  Since he had been kicked from the rehab program, he had few options.  Join a new rehab, restart his rehab or go to prison.  

Mr Fields, having just run out of soap, elected to go back to free board and bummings, with the prison option.  

The joke is on the System though, as a week later, Fields had his case reviewed and has since been released on time served.  

“The program’s response was grossly disproportionate to the unauthorized snacking offense”

Field’s attorney, San Francisco Deputy Public Defender Dana Drusinksy

So not only did Mr Fields get the cookie, he had the last laugh too and probably got the girl. Moral of the story here folks – just eat that last cookie because WTF is a fair proportionate response to an unauthorized snacking offense !!! 


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